In a nutshell.

Hi!

2011-10-31T21:42:00.002+11:00

I would love to write more but this strip kinda sums up my life right now.

Also, fazilfuad.com is in the works and nearing completion. Kinda excited for that, and you should too.

Your name

2011-08-21T00:37:00.004+10:00

This happens to almost everyone.

Met this buncha dudes the other day, I can remember so well that one of them is a Marketing Exec for a major automobile company and the other helps his mum who is a .com millionaire. Both have sisters that are still in high school and both are avid arsenal supporters.

Other than their dayjobs I actually remembered stuff about their family and personal preferences. Problem is, I still cant remember their names. Or faces, hmm. Nothing's more awkward then introducing yourself to a person you already know. Added with the fact that you actually knew that they had sisters and possibly their office's location, you also knew that they belong to that small group of people that aren't embarrassed about certain things, like admitting they support Arsenal.

Btw congratulations to Cesc Fabregas on his first medal after 48 hours as a Barcelona player.

So I was in Bali for a few days. First company trip so I guess I can check that off my list of "normal things everyone goes through" sandwiched in between taking a piss and forgetting someone's name (or face).

It's a beautiful place, my first time at a beach holiday retreat without my family and all I can say is finding magic mushrooms is a lot easier than a plate of nasi padang (indonesian food in indonesia is kinda disappointing) Some guy even approached my friend for an "ecstasy + marijuana + gigolo" package which was pretty funny.

At a normal company or any SME you can think of, these trips are suppose to tighten the "bond" between employees and encourage "social integration". Most people would say this is just another way for the bosses to suck up to their employees.

However, I do think on some levels this shit really works. Everybody has their hair down and you talk about and feel different things towards your colleagues and superiors during a time like this. You find out things like how the girl that sits in front of me is still practically living in Ipoh as she refuses to leave, and one of my bosses once puked while taking a shower after a crazy night out. The girl that sits behind me however, lost her virginity in Bali. Haha.

Please don't get the idea that Fazil Fuad is rollin' with 'em bitchez at work as they're 2 out of 4 girls in my entire workplace. That's including the cleaning lady.

Anyway here's Bali.

I'll take you away.

The dust has settled.

2011-07-27T03:29:00.004+10:00

.. just when you thought I did.

Firstly, I need to thank all those who still came back to check after all these months of nothingness. Thank you for still being interested in my random rants about the ex girlfriend, random musings/verbal diarrhoea and of course, the occasional photograph. I never check the stats, so the comments and chatbar shout-outs were enough for me. Thank you thank you thank you, I hope Santa's good to you.

Reason for being on hiatus all this while is mostly due to the vast amount of changes in my life, I actually once felt that I grew out of this, I thought of myself as lacking the attention from the people/things/objects/aliens around me but I kinda had a revelation a few days ago when it hit me that I just had this natural tendency to share, whether it's a revolutionary idea, an article or just a video of cats staring at shit/you. Nope, I won't care what you think or whether you've seen it and it's better for me if you don't know why exactly I bothered to embed a video titled "Inception Animals". Then I remembered that it was neither the girl nor my compulsive need to observe things that was behind the need to capture and share, but it was the feeling of being the most comfortable/complete when I had my own private space to do so. I guess it was better if you had a choice to view it rather than seeing my name popping out everywhere on your news feed.

Okay fine, there was just one reason really, and it's called Facebook.

------ Left Nipple

Earlier I mentioned the numerous changes in my life, so what's new with Zillieman (hahaha, geezes I was full of myself back then.. fuck you I don't care). Let's see, in no particular order :

1.New shoes and a couple of new caps.

2.Got my degree

3.Met a girl

4.Learned how to cook

5.Got a job

6.NEW CAMERA

7.Lost my camera

8.3 kilograms

9.Tendency to shave the sides of my head

10.Obsession with Massive Attack

11.New glasses

12.Kinda started a company

13.Obsession with The Lonely Island

14.Found 3 more ways to return home from KL

15.Got to ride in a friend's Ferrari

The list goes on, obviously.

------

The following is about #5. I spend most of my time now at this boutique design studio that does advertising and plenty of other awesome stuff and consists even better looking people. I am still yet to sell out to big corporations and your mum should pat me in the back for that.

I had to start from somewhere.

Remember these girls?

Ah, it's good to be back.

I believe an explanation is in order.

2010-12-19T17:03:00.002+11:00

But it will have to wait, packing 4 years of my life atm. This is it. I fly tonight.

The mercurial, the outrageous, the brilliant Paul Arden.

2010-09-28T04:55:00.004+10:00

Being right is based upon knowledge and experience and is often provable.

Knowledge comes from the past, so it's safe. It is also out of date. It's the opposite of originality.

Experience is built from solutions to old situations are probably different from the present ones, so that old solutions will have to be bent to fit new problems (and possibly fit badly). Also the likelihood is that, if you've got the experience, you'll probably use it.

This is lazy.

Experience is the opposite of being creative. If you can prove you're right, you're set in concrete. You cannot move with the times or with other people.

Being right is also being boring. Your mind is closed. You are not open to new ideas. You are rooted in your own rightness, which is arrogant. Arrogance is a valuable tool, but only if used very sparingly.

Worst of all, being right has a tone of morality about it. To be anything else sounds weak or fallible, and people who are right would hate to be thought fallible.

So : it's wrong to be right, because people who are right are rooted in the past, rigid-minded, dull and smug.

There is no talking to them.

---

I'll be right back.

At one's wits' ends

2010-05-25T00:56:00.003+10:00

or desperate.

According to Thesaurus widget on my dashboard.

---

I've succumbed to taking pictures of my room.

I need time to breathe.

I've made a point to challenge myself with my time here, to grow as a PERSON and as a creative.

I've recently concluded that it's starting to be slightly overwhelming.

I've to make it clear that it is me that has to be fed, and not being consumed entirely.

What do I do what do I do what do I do?

Breathe.

How I learned so much about life through Dexter (preview).

2010-05-21T03:58:00.002+10:00

Ever since being introduced to Dexter by a friend dubbed Shaz Michael Michaels. I can't ignore the fact that I've learned so much about my life through the eyes of a sociopath.

Our values/principles/habits are parallel same in so many ways. But I'll get to that later.

I'll just leave you to my fav scene from the series.

Venture. Motion. Moving. Pictures.

2010-05-20T20:19:00.007+10:00

Passion is a funny thing.

I'm not sure what it is or what drives it. Where it comes from and most of the time, what it even means. To me I look at it as more of a hunger, an urge to get things done in a certain way (my way, most of the time but I've learned to tone that down). There's this force/being/something inside of me that constantly needs to be fed, and at times I have to bring it out for a walk, but routine doesn't always do the trick, I'll have to diversify my methods just to keep it quiet when the usual does not. That rarely happens but when it does it really shows.

Of course, when I find, if it works, it feels oh so good.

It drives me.

It's roaring for more.

---

These are my latest video work. Always wanted to venture into something that actually moves. Oh and, haha, it has always been a childhood dream to state "Directed by Fazil Fuad" in

my work.

Baby steps.

---

Project Epic

Voices from Fazil Fuad on Vimeo.

---

Submission for Cannes Young Lions Awards with Jayne Kennedy and Justin Khoo.

A worthy comeback post.

2010-05-19T04:58:00.000+10:00

Think I walk me outside and buy me a rainbow smile.

2010-05-01T18:44:00.003+10:00

But be free. They're all free.

---

Stereophonics.

Oh, the fucking memories.

Samantha Rayner by Jens Langkjae

2010-04-27T05:37:00.000+10:00

Loving the slightly odd choice of dimensions.

Calling all photographers/designer/creatives alike.

2010-04-23T21:27:00.001+10:00

I fucking judge you when you take pictures like this.

I'm in pieces.

2010-04-15T05:43:00.002+10:00

Rupture

The instant shock overwhelms me to the core and I fall onto the steel-cold surface as I begin to slowly bleed out light.

A distant muffled flutter shakes my vision as matter starts to melt into itself and shapes soon emanate ultraviolet colours.

Focusing on the texture of the brain fragments that surround me I recollect moments from what now seems to have been another life.

From my solar plexus I feel the first burst of energy that shatters my rib cage and rips through my skin one cell at a time,

And I begin to implode, falling into the million different perceptions of what I had believed myself to have become.

I counted a trillion blinks of an eye within that final silence as the last breath passed me by...

The brilliant and awesome Marius Budu.

Baby you're a perfect 10.

2010-04-14T03:05:00.000+10:00

Full moon.

2010-04-11T20:39:00.002+10:00

This is Isaac, my one month old nephew.

"Support our cause,

2010-04-11T20:38:00.001+10:00

..or I will powersnatch your face."

Believe.

2010-04-02T00:21:00.002+11:00

A few things.

I believe in logic. I believe in art, that there are certain things you can't explain yet it makes perfect sense. I believe in the perfect picture and the never-ending quest to find it. I believe in moments and how you can never get them back.

I believed in love.

I do believe in fate and how some things are just meant to be. I believe in being alone. I believe everything in between the lines I believe in Tom Yam. I believe how technical things can get. I believe how technical things are not. I believe in feelings and how to use them.

I believe in the future and I believe in this :

I also believe in you.

---

After 3 years of western education I am still a patriot at heart. I don't advertise at all, you guys should know by now but this really knocks the principles aside. A lot has been said but nothing much has been done, now stand up (or drive to Cineleisure, Amcorp Mall or Subang Parade) and voice your choice.

Make it count.

Oh, and I'm collaborating with EPIC on something huge and you really wanna stay tuned for that one.

No, I will not fall in love again.

2010-03-29T00:02:00.004+11:00

Okay fine, maybe. Just maybe.

WIP.

2010-03-24T22:18:00.000+11:00

The rest.

2010-03-02T06:54:00.001+11:00

The Architects of who I am.

2010-02-27T19:09:00.002+11:00

My two aunties who helped raise me to who I am today.

Emotional, expressive, morally "aware" with a weakness for

chopped potatoes cooked with soy sauce.

I am Fazil Fuad.

Will love you till death, Lak Ee and Gor Ee.

Ah Ma

2010-02-26T21:25:00.001+11:00

"Yes, I do celebrate Chinese New Year."

2010-02-25T07:16:00.001+11:00

"Hey you."

2010-02-12T20:49:00.004+11:00

I just realised I haven't actually posted a series of images in a while as most of them are in Facebook. Technology, things are not so linear as I would like these days. A friend once sent me some invitation through "mail" that day, I had to check 5 different accounts only to realize that he actually sent me a mail, mail. As in a letter.

Hah.

I hate posting a something more then once, I put a lot of effort and I think there's a lot of aesthetic value in the order and medium of display, that's probably why I don't re-post a lot. So, I promise to post more in this blog, it means too much to me to be reduced into something less.

I'm in Penang atm for the year of the Tiger, almost everything here looks good on film so, be prepared for the usual CNY visual content.

Until then, Happy Chinese New Year everybody.

(oh and can somebody please tell me what's up with the scary ass waving cats in shopping malls these days?)

Okay.

2010-02-10T06:18:00.001+11:00

Enough now.

Because really,

2010-02-05T21:13:00.000+11:00

More by Chan-wook Park, the master of composition.

2010-01-31T17:54:00.002+11:00

Although clearly I'm severely overwhelmed by the visual, I'm not taking away anything from the movie. Unique storyline, but I do warn you though, like eating a live octopus, not everybody would have the stomach for it.

Oldboy by Chan-wook Park

2010-01-31T17:36:00.002+11:00

Just realised that was my most X-rated post ever, sorry kids.

2010-01-27T06:49:00.003+11:00

Project EPIC HD by Fazil Fuad (FINAL CUT) from Fazil Fuad on Vimeo.

___

This marks my first video production ever. I just made history.

Filmed on a Nikon(argh) D90.

"I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?"

2010-01-27T00:26:00.003+11:00

"Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite."

___

This is Christian Bale. The original American Psycho. I rewatched it a few days ago and to me it was a reassurance that he is arguably the best actor in this generation. The madness that he portrayed was just too much.

A performance like that can really ruin a person. I always wondered if you dove that deep into the mind of a such a grotesque, homicidal maniac, would it be possible to get out? Would you know still know the difference?

Photography by my man, Terry Richardson for GQ.

EPIC faces.

2010-01-26T05:22:00.001+11:00

Took part in Project Epic, one of the best experiences in my life so far.

And clearly, I brought my camera along.

Familiar territory.

2010-01-14T02:06:00.003+11:00

Too familiar.

Thank you, to everybody that came.

Hey mum, look what Aput and I made.

2010-01-14T02:03:00.001+11:00

There's more.

That piece of paper.

2010-01-08T07:45:00.001+11:00

Photo of the year.

2010-01-02T16:45:00.002+11:00

2010, it will be so different.

But hopefully the same, if you get what I mean.

Happy New Year people, I never check my hits but I do know you guys are still there.

If only

2009-12-26T14:01:00.001+11:00

life came with this button.

As much as you want me to, I am not done with you.

I still want to be under the rain.

What is love?

2009-12-23T07:17:00.002+11:00

The most lovely shoot I've ever done, you can actually smell it.

Hey Andrew.

2009-12-15T04:07:00.002+11:00

It's going to be that time of the year again. Your birthday, followed by a string of random/intoxicating events. It's different this year, well it was different last year. It's going to be different next year too.

A lot has happened to me in the last few. Some good, mostly otherwise. But I don't want to talk about that. I was going through some old files that day and I found this text file that I wrote while I was on the phone with my mum almost 2 years ago. She was on the way to the hospital. It was just plainly stuff that I'd wanted talk to you about, there were stuff about girls, your Melbourne Uni application and whether Prison Break was only written for only 1 season, above a bunch of other things.

All trivial, nothing life changing.

Yes I still do feel this way, I still think about you and yes, I still wanna talk about those things. I miss you, pure and simple. I will be back on Friday because I have and will never miss your birthday.

I hate this feeling.

2009-12-06T21:34:00.002+11:00

Overexposed.

Haha.

A few faces.

2009-11-16T09:54:00.000+11:00

When's the next one?

Wait for it.

2009-11-10T11:35:00.001+11:00

Credits - Safuraa

---

Hann - Thanks man.

Kwok - You just had to go all racial huh? I'm fine brada. How the eff are ya?

Sin - And I happen to like you too. Haha.

Pandaa - Wow, haha. Weight loss, really? Thanks girl, been awhile since I heard from ya. Miss you too.

Sze - Hello hello. Thanks, I always try to make myself look cool. HAH.

You've probably seen these pics everywhere by now.

2009-11-02T18:20:00.002+11:00

But just for formality sake, it has to be here.

Yes, I know, the hair.

One of the best nights ever.

More pics at PMS and zOMG!PARTY!

Wodka.

2009-10-28T21:51:00.001+11:00

Replies.

2009-10-28T03:03:00.002+11:00

Lynnee's friend -

eugtan - kau ah kimaks.

joanne - hey! how did that happen if you dont mind telling me. haha. thanks thanks thanks.

anon - thank you thank you, please leave your name next time. lie if you want, at least i can say a proper "thank you".

yam - thanks, sugar bear.

esther - you know i wouldnt mind that.

zzz - haha, clearly i don't have to try.

Beauty.

2009-10-26T10:05:00.001+11:00

A little bit late buuut..

2009-10-21T22:01:00.001+11:00

No photos involved this time. I'm actually designing a piece with Safuraa.

2wo things.

2009-10-13T23:53:00.000+11:00

Blend 53, turn off the boiler, pick a color, green, grab handle, pour, sip, sit down, stand up and

2009-10-05T02:36:00.006+11:00

breathe.

I was up to my neck in assignments. Vodka, Advertising, Fly Thai. I needed a walk.

I needed a breather.

---

That was yesterday. Or the day before, who cares, time's not relevant with the issue at hand. Or maybe it is. I'm doing okay with my assignments, they're almost done. Just a final stroke, some type to set, colors to finalize, sizing to be approved then I'm done, this will be the last assignment/homework I will ever have to do in my life. It's an end of an era. I'm no longer a student. Accumulated efforts since I was 4 years old, ends once I fix the Kerning between the W and Y of Wyborowa Vodka, as that's what I plan to do last.

Kerning. The adjustment space between two letters to achieve identical optical space with the next. Brilliant.

It cannot be fixed, the letters are fine I refuse to continue I don't want to grow up.

"You could be empty and I can be right here empty with you."

2009-10-05T02:02:00.001+11:00

Torquay.

2009-09-24T17:00:00.002+10:00

Room 23 by Deborah Anderson

2009-09-14T07:52:00.002+10:00

Concept. A year in a life of a hotel suite in Los Angeles.

So there is hope.

2009-09-14T04:02:00.004+10:00

My brother told me about this project called 15 Malaysia.

"15Malaysia is a short film project. It consists of 15 short films made by 15 Malaysian filmmakers. These films not only deal with socio-political issues in Malaysia, they also feature some of the best-known faces in the country, including actors, musicians and top political leaders. You may think of them as funky little films made by 15 Malaysian voices for the people of Malaysia."

After the death of the great Yasmin Ahmad, I almost lost hope in the local film industry, the entire creative industry as a matter of fact. No one else dared to tackle the taboo anymore, nobody talked about the hardships of inter-racial love, the mediocre excuses for politicians, the corrupted legal system, the fickle "rakyat", everybody wanted to tell stories of our "peaceful", "multi-cultural" country and Cuti-cuti Malaysia. Nobody wanted to be honest. When the ugly face of reality surfaced, we turn ourselves to the brainwashing powers of daytime AMERICAN television.

Fuck me, was I wrong.

When the Yasmin era was over, while the rest of us mourned these 15 directors felt that they inherited a legacy. To spread a parallel message in their own vision. Some of these people are graduates from prestigious universities, some of their works have been showcased in Cannes, Venice and Busan (film festivals). They all either abandoned or put international fame on hold to convey this message.

I am yet to watch all of it due to the release dates but these are my favs so far.

Gerhana, by James Lee.

A brilliantly shot, carefully crafted short. Dark, in terms of story telling but oh so effective. An interesting take on more recent affairs with well written dialogue. Almost Tarantino like, as it seems like it's digressing but it actually leads up to a twisted ending.

Chocolat, by Yasmin Ahmad

Classic YA stuff, aesthetically dramatic, heartfelt performances (altho the boy could had done a better job) and an ambiguous ending. I felt that this was made to reinforce her statement in her movie Sepet.

Lumpur, by Kamal Sabran

Kamal's backgound as a graphic designer/artist shows here with powerful use of typography and well constructed story-telling. He conveys his own vision of how an idealistic equation of one's "Tanah Air" should be. Shot entirely on a Canon 5D Mark II.

Meter, by Benji Lim and Bahir Yeusuff

Half of this all star short is made by a fellow alumni of my high school, Bahir Yeusuff. It pokes fun about how hypocritical the working class (which makes up for the majority of our nation) citizens can be, whether it's politics or football. It also tells us the dark reality that absolut patriotism and faith in out country is at it's all time low. Yes, that is Khairy Jamaludin.

One Future, by Tan Chui Mui

A Multimedia University graduate in Film, Chui Mui gives us a Twilight Zone flavored short. Told in a series of compelling still photographs. I'll be watching her closely from now on.

Call me sentimental, but I'm damn glad that I decided to go back after my degree.

No I don't do ads. This ain't one of them.

Internet's been throttled till Wednesday.

2009-09-05T19:59:00.000+10:00

Till then.

Shh! I'm going to tell you a secret

2009-08-29T19:25:00.000+10:00

It ain't easy to be the Zillieman.
-Xiang 29/8

She said "I think I, remembered the film. And as I recall I think, we both kinda liked it."

2009-08-27T17:22:00.004+10:00

I'm so far away from hoome.

Zillieman completes controversial move to bitter rivals

2009-08-24T12:37:00.005+10:00

DU boys' newest recruit, Ahmad Fazil Fuad has crossed the LDP announced that he has joined the other half of Damansara.

The former vice captain of RVN has swapped for DU for a fee in the region of 2 plates of Spicy long beans and chicken on rice and also 4 shots of 151's every other Friday, and he is clearly delighted with his decision.

Speaking in an interview at his new team's training ground on Swanston Street, the stocky built centre-back explained that joining the KW boys was too good an opportunity to turn down.

"When I found out it was the DU boys knocking on my door, I didnt have to think too hard about it," he said

"I'm 21 years-old now, and I'm absolutely delighted to jump on this fantastic opportunity for me to join the DU boys"

In effort to prove his loyalty to the DU boys, he has also authorised a KWFC official to access his prized possession, www.seindahirama.blogspot.com.

Zillieman also admitted that he was hoping to play a regular role in DU's activities.

Welcome abroad, Zillieman

by Xiang, 24th August 2009

ZOMGPARTY

2009-08-24T00:37:00.001+10:00

Have been photographing for ZOMGPARTY for the past 2 weeks.

Will elaborate soon. I think.

Outtakes.

2009-08-19T18:04:00.001+10:00

From the Bulubulu shoot Khing Wei helped me do a while back.

The Ladybosses agaain.

2009-08-18T04:27:00.001+10:00

Shot for KLUE mag.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER SHE'S PERFECT

2009-08-14T16:37:00.002+10:00

OR EVEN IF HE IS.

IT ONLY MATTERS IF YOU'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.

---

Sudden burst. Sorry. It had to happen eventually.

Route B100 - For 264 Kilometers..

2009-08-13T06:14:00.003+10:00

... She tried her best to avoid my camera.

But why?

When you look like that on film.

This is Dyan, a friend of mine.

Don't kill me, Alex. Hahaha.

Route B100 - Faces

2009-08-13T05:54:00.004+10:00

---

Went to Route B100/Great Ocean Road since it was King's last day in Melbourne and he wanted to go there since day 1.

Yes from afar it was just rocks and water. Rocks and water. However I did feel that I had to get out. I've been here for almost 3 years now (this might be my last) and I haven't even seen a kangaroo, and this was my first time visiting the most "photographed" place in Melbourne/Victoria.

I have a lot of thinking to do for the next few days, I have to do what I did only once (four years ago), I have to decide my future. Will it be to stay here for another year, will it be to go abroad somewhere else? To see what else the world has to offer or is it time for me to go home and tear up the local scene with the Muffstit girls?

I have no idea.

To that person, you know who you are. You always did tell me how much you love the photos I take, but then you never commented nor said anything about what I posted on this blog. It seems like you never read it but how can that be when this was where it all started. I do really hope that you secretly did. I talked to someone not long ago and I came to realise that you were kinda like my muse at the time. You gave me that sense of creative security and self assurance. Right now, alone, I'm never sure.

I have no idea.

Chooshaun.

2009-08-10T01:07:00.002+10:00

Shaun, one of my best friends. Probably the easiest person I know to photograph.

Probably the best 2 weeks of my life.

2009-08-05T22:13:00.000+10:00

The Trainman

2009-08-05T21:57:00.002+10:00

"What do you mean?"

"Who are you?"

"Me? Nobody. Just a... spectator, enjoying the ride."

A little longer would've been perfect.

2009-08-05T21:56:00.000+10:00

Love you both.

21 years old

2009-08-05T04:20:00.002+10:00

So I scared the shit out of my mum.

2009-07-28T11:24:00.004+10:00

We had this planned for almost a year. Close friends and family, a dining room, and a surprise my parents will never forget. I was only back for a week, sorry to the people that I said that I would see, but I lived with my cousins for the first 4 days, setting everything up, and the dinner was on the 5th.

"I do know that everybody wished they had parents like ours, but after tonight, you, wished you had children like us." - From my brother's speech, although backed by popular demand, I won the award for best speech.

The Terminator. Look at them arms.

Thanks Dee, for helping me photograph. I would have done it but I for once,

wanted to be in the pictures. Did the editting tho.

Oh and guess who was the other photographer who still hasn't gave me them pictures yet?

I really want to update.

2009-07-22T01:46:00.003+10:00

But photobucket is currently under maintenance.

I had a crazy couple of weeks, did so much and yes, I had my camera.

(replies coming soon too!)

The Enemy.

2009-07-04T18:58:00.003+10:00

I've been mixing with the Kewei boys a lot for the past couple of weeks. Great bunch of guys, knew them for ages. The story is that the RVN boys and I have this great football rivalry thing going on with the Keweis since we were kids. To me, the score was never settled. We beat them as many times as they beat us.

Aside from that, I always looked at them as exactly the same bunch of blokes as us. Just that we grew up in different places and went to different schools. They were from Damansara Utama. Times with them were real old school fun. The shit that we'd probably do if the rest of the RVN boys were in Melbourne. We went to the Museum today.

This is Justin, the so-called 'captain' of the Keweis. Ah Mai and him just touched down from Adelaide. So it's like a huge ass reunion for them boys, and I'm just so so jealous.

We were walking back from Lord of the Fries @ Flinder's Street.

------

On a seperate note, there was this girl that I met in Seven yesterday who came up to me and asked me if I was Zillieman. I said yes then she continued to tell me that she reads my blog.

If that was true and if you ARE reading this (I think your name was Sue, I'm so sorry the music was really loud) I just want to say that you are such a sweet girl for saying hi and I should have caught you for a minute or two to talk about it because I am so grateful when something like this happens. Plus it's always good to hear from an outsider's point of view.

You take care now.

Cinema

2009-07-01T20:49:00.004+10:00

This is the work of Michael Mann, one of the brilliant directors of our generation. He's the man who brought us The Last of the Mohicans, Heat, Ali, Miami Vice and the upcoming Public Enemies starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale (and mind you, these two actors just don't work with ANYBODY). The thing about him is how much he dictates the style of photography in his movies. I can tell from a mile away that it's Michael Mann feature. Strictly composed and raw to it's core. Stills were taken from Collateral, starring Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx.

The thing about inspiration is that you can get it anywhere. One of them places where I get mine are movies. I think it's cool that technology permits me to watch movies on my computer. Or anywhere actually. I have a pretty extensive movie collection and I'm really proud of it to be honest. I never delete my movies, even when I get bored of them. I have this bad habit of watching movies till late at night, or just until the trams start moving.

Compo.sition

2009-06-28T01:00:00.001+10:00

Oh one more thing.

2009-06-24T03:53:00.002+10:00

I just upgraded the html template from the old system and somehow I lost some "followers" due to some error. I don't know how this happen so if your deleted from the list please re-follow. Sorry about this, hope you guys like the new cleaner layout.

Something overdue.

2009-06-24T03:23:00.002+10:00

___

Ah Xiong - Sorry I did not get back to you for sometime but shit dude, thanks for telling me. Last time I was in any top 20 was in primary school. And thanks, YOUR work is awesome.

Anons - A big thank you and fuck you bryan.

Brian - Haha come on, man. We WILL work on something.

Liq - Thanks dude. I think it's about time for you to change your nickname.

Jessykarh - thanks thanks and I replied your mail!

Suejan - I used Helvetica Neue LT Pro. It's a more refined version of Helvetica Neue. It's available on a mac. Classic typface. Although I wanted to use another. Haha and thanksss.

Ben - good for you.

Ame - Aww it's been awhile since I heard from you. Thanks girl.

Shyn - Hey girl I've seen your blog. And yes you are one of them rare people who has been following for some time. Thanks a lot girl. Oh but I still prefer the Gyu Tan Don. Haha.

sydneybird - hey, I would take the 500D. Always go Canon haha. Although I know a guy who does magic with a D90.

Joshua - Thaaaaanks primary school mate. Haha.

It was 5.30pm

2009-06-22T22:31:00.001+10:00

Abscence0007, originally uploaded by Fazil Fuad.

And the sun was abscent.

Ignore the previous post.

2009-06-21T02:23:00.001+10:00

This was taken when I was eating lunch by myself a couple of weeks ago.

I'm like that these days.

Something nice to see, on a rainy day.

2009-06-18T20:57:00.002+10:00

"It is cold, come inside and warm up with a hot chocolate - only $2.00"

A long absence.

2009-06-17T02:52:00.002+10:00

Did I spell it right?

This is Suneil. I wrote about him before I think. After that very spontaneous trip to Toorak Road, turned into a coffee session at St Kilda (it was raining according to Bryan), I can safely say that somehow, in some ways, we are all connected. Immature, as it's towards the small scale compared to the general standard. But I would like to believe it's true.

Day 2 of "Life Without Internet and a Computer" soon.

A Couple of Complications

2009-06-13T01:11:00.003+10:00

There's a ring to it doesn't it?
Here's two for you.

1.I had no internet for almost two weeks and I had to go to a neighbor's house to use it. I have a 24" iMac, so that's not much fun.
2.On the day my internet got scheduled to be reconnected, my hard drive crashed and when I tried to start it up again there was a big question mark on the screen. In Mac terms, your hard drive is dead.

Hope that will explain for the lack of updates. My Mac will be back in a few so the only updates will be from my phone, or just random textual musings. Like this.

I have 3 memory cards full of photos. Just waiting.

---

If you follow this blog, you'd know that I dont write personal stuff. Which means I won't write about that it's been 4 months and I still feel lost. Lost because I never thought that not being with her would affect me in ways that I never felt before. I had a direction. Now I don't.

The misery I had to go through was just plain torture, the scent of what has happened still stings. How does one be better without looking? What is the natural method of closure?

I feel underexposed, cross processed and left to dry.

More updates/replies soon.

Designed for sports. Remixed for life.

2009-06-04T00:51:00.002+10:00

PMS for Nike Sportswear Storyboard from MuffStit on Vimeo.

---

Of course.
It was a dream come true to be working on something like this.

Business Time.

2009-05-29T05:26:00.001+10:00

It was just too damn cold.

2009-05-28T04:02:00.002+10:00

Sorray for the lack of updates.

2009-05-24T23:45:00.001+10:00

My internet is out until Wednesday.

Hopefully.

So damn beautiful.

2009-05-14T13:40:00.002+10:00

"To Ahmad Fazil Fuad" a blog post by my sister, Fardina Fuad

Smells, remember years ago when I was in the America's Next Top Model phase (weren't we all once?) and we were watching the judging session and you casually mentioned,

"I want to be just like him"
(referring to Nigel Barker)

Knowing me and knowing you, I probably responded with a snide remark about you being gay. Which I think you were - at that time.

However, after watching the PMS x NikeSportwear teaser, you are probably a big step closer to achieving your gay dreams. I am (genuinely) extremely proud of you for going out and taking the risk of pursuing something out of the ordinary, in Malaysia at least - and actually succeeding in it. You know us Fuads - always trying to be different.

I take back the times I was hesitant to say, "My brother is studying art in Australia and no, he is not on scholarship" when it was so easy to say "Faisal is doing engineering in Japan under the JPA scholarship". And for that - I'm sorry.

I guess we were raised in a (Asian/Malaysian/Kiasu/You don't get straight As you are gonna be begging on the streets/You HAVE to study accounting, economics, engineering, medics to have a descent life) community, and as much I didn't want to fall into that mentality, and as much I tried to live in denial - I am indeed one of 'those people', at least to a certain extent.

I have always admired your work, even in the days when your photoshop work was shit (compared to today lah) I really can say that I watched your work grew from the amateur-ish shit to an amazing photographer/artist you are now. I never got the chance to actually tell you how I felt about your work coz my ego is so damn big - but I really do.. like your work, smells. I used to browse your photo folders when you're not around (yes im freaky like that), and there are times I found inappropriate photographs but that's a whole different story.

Please mind my sudden emoness. Its just that I didn't do terribly well on my finals for math and bio today - so most definitely Abang and you will have to support ma and pa coz I will be begging on the streets.

anywho, the teaser was really awesome and daymn son, were you wearing a polyleather overcoat? and you lost weight, thats always something nice *looks at self and frowns*
and eh, do you get like staff discount or something from PMS ah. Get me something funky lah. I will not let you be more fashionable than me :(

I would upload a picture of us as it adds a nice sentiment to this post - but you know the connection in my room. So I'll end it with this closing statement:

I'm gonna hang myself right now.

-------

Now how beautiful was that? Although the part that I did find disturbing is that I remember saying that and which episode we were watching. I was new to this at the time and I didn't even know there was such a profession so when I saw the 14 point type at the bottom left of his mug that said "Nigel Barker, noted Fashion Photographer" I was like WOAH. Which I then muttered those words to my sister.

"So how did you get into this? Making pictures, taking photos, producing images."

That to me is a big question. There is a Slumdog Millionaire answer to this but it can never be degraded to an A, B, C or a D. I can tell you maybe a hundred stories on how did I get here. Why is it a big deal? It is, if you knew where I came from, the people I mixed with, the Teachers that tried to brainwash me and the one's who didn't (i'm thankful for both). But I only have time to name you 4, it's a story of 4 people that I'm sure set everything in motion.

My Family.

(I must warn you though, the stories are quite trivial)
Mum.
I had two problems when I was a child. One was that I didn't smile very much and the other was that I liked to stare into blank space. My mum didn't approve of this of course, she always asked me to smile, when I'm doing my homework, when I'm playing with my toys or even when I'm eating lunch. Like any kid, one day I asked her "Why?". She just pulled out a photo album and showed it to me, then she said, "You see, people look better when they smile, YOU look better when you smile." I disagreed, haha so I went on (in secret) to open up magazines, the other photo albums and everything trying to prove my mum wrong, I thought about it in school, at home, when I hit puberty, when I had my first girlfriend, when I was on the plane to Melbourne, everywhere, staring blankly into empty space. I still do that.

Dad.
Although my mum quit her job and raised me most of my life, I still think I resemble my dad even more. Not only because I look the most Malay out of my siblings, but we're just quiet people and we seem like unpleasent people, on the first look. Haha. The other thing is, was our love for photography. Like any other dad, he liked to buy big ass cameras and video cameras just for holiday pictures. I thought he was just well, being like any other dad. In my guestroom back home, there are like heaps of baby photos pasted all over the wall. Some professionally taken, the rest were taken by other members of my family. They were there since my family moved into the house, which was like.. 12 years ago? But not until 4 or 5 years ago that I came to know that none of those pictures were professionally taken. They were taken by my dad.

THESE were taken by my dad.

I scanned this pictures as part of a present for my brother's 21st birthday.
So my brother is the main star of these photos.

I didn't know creative cropping existed in the early 90's. Haha.

Yes, that is me without pants. I had a ninja turtle phase, who didn't?

Yes, my parents did this to us too.

Yes Henry, that is you.

Oh and did I mention? He's a Canon man.

Abang.
My brother being older then me was promoted to assist my dad either taking photos or recording videos during family vacations. So he was the one snapping away while I was splashing around in my ring float. Until one day, he passed to me my dad's IXUS and said, "Now, it's your turn, fucker." Haha. So I did, snapping away. It wasn't long when I started snapping the trees, insects, the floor, the back of my brother's head, even other people. This did not go well, it never does if your CNY/Hari Raya album has only 5 pictures of your family. Later there was my brother's most overused quote at the time. "You're just gonna take a picture of that and go home and edit it right?" Can you feel the sarcasm? Haha.

Fardina.
You already heard the story. I can only tell you that I had to help her write her 60 word essay when she was in primary school. Look at her now. Captain of the National Cheerleading Squad and now aiming for the Ivy's.

___

Okay, back to work. Til next time.

This too.

2009-05-11T19:33:00.002+10:00

Rebellz.

Sorry for the lack of updates, was busy with this.

2009-05-11T04:24:00.003+10:00

Untitled from MuffStit on Vimeo.

___

Victim - Safuraa Razak

PMS - Sher Michelle and Fazil Fuad

Video/Director of Photography : The brilliant Twoofrontteeth/Wei Xiong.

Preview.

2009-05-10T05:03:00.002+10:00

You just have to find it.

2009-05-07T04:13:00.002+10:00

___

Where did those days go when I just put on my shoes, step out and shoot everything. I promise there will be more of them old Zillie photos soon,

and less glimmer from the fashion world.

"You stole a french blue horn for me."

2009-05-05T03:27:00.002+10:00

"I would've stolen an entire orchestra."

No more, time to move on, Zil.

In case you failed to notice.

2009-04-30T13:11:00.000+10:00

In case you failed to see.

Cheer up, Safuraa.

2009-04-28T23:17:00.000+10:00

I hate seeing you like that.

X

2009-04-27T08:08:00.000+10:00

/

2009-04-25T06:31:00.000+10:00

Travel.

2009-04-25T05:01:00.001+10:00

Sometimes little things like this makes realize the magnitude of your situation.
Specifically, how far away you are from home.

Mum, Dad, Dina and Bang.. I miss you guys.

Finally.

2009-04-23T01:55:00.005+10:00

Go.

.

2009-04-22T05:52:00.001+10:00

This is what our world is for, making electricity.

2009-04-21T08:11:00.001+10:00

On the way back from darling harbor.
George St, Syndey.

The Family.

2009-04-19T23:55:00.002+10:00

I've been getting lots of emails from people wanting to know the gear that I currently use. Let me confirm to you that yes I have upgraded. So say hi, let me introduce you to the to the Zillieman Family.

Clockwise from left :

Canon EOS 50D + BGE-2N battery pack + OP/Tech strap. The battery pack lets my boy go on forever and the strap halves it's weight. I'm serious.
107mm 4 side reflector. White, silver, gold and transparent (for diffusing). I usually use this for fashion/commissioned shoots. It's so cheap for the results I'm getting with it. Crazy.
Lowepro Orion Trekker II. Does the job. Durable, lightweight and full of padding.
Sigma 24-70 f2.8. Not the best lens in the world. It's perfect on certain focal lengths and when it's stopped down. 70mm on 2.8 is almost unusable. Gah.
Tamron 11-18 4.5-5.6. Great lens. Razor sharp. Some might not agree with the distortion but I am lovin' it!
Gary Fong Diffuser and duct tape, because it was designed for a 580EX.
50mm 1.8. Ridiculously affordable. THE BEST INVESTMENT EVER. Like Safuraa, I carry this around almost 90% of the time.
Canon 430EX Speedlite. One of my first investments. Never failed me.
Assorted rechargeable batteries.
10GB worth of memory cards. Plenty you might think, not when you're shooting RAW.

In the bag or not shown absent :

M2 Box2s Card Reader - Lightning fast.
Moleskin Notebook - To jot down random ideas/visual diary.
Microfibre cleaning cloth.
Manuals for flash/camera.
Holga 120 CFN + some medium format films. Always awesome to pack some old school, but a little pricy tho.
4th gen Ipod Nano 8gb.
Imagination.

Alape

2009-04-19T23:14:00.002+10:00

----

Brief : Redesign Alape's (an upscale german brand that retails bathroom furniture) catalog.

Am not really happy with the entire design, I actually thought I could have done better. I had a more elaborate design which I ended up going nowhere. I had to take a train to Burnley (almost half hour from the city by train) to the actual showroom to snap the pics. Oh and the map on the second last page.. it's not crooked, mathematically it is straight just not so optically. Damnation.

Meine Egenen means "My Own" in German. We had to come up with a name for this range.

L

2009-04-14T19:21:00.001+10:00

is for the way you look at me.

---

Kev and Wei, and the Opera House.
Sydney.